February 10, 2019


I’m still learning a lot about the new me


These new emotions I carry around are hard to keep track of


The old me says to be embarrassed of them


To hide them.


Not tell


Act ok and things will feel better


But they burrow inside and build homes


They don’t come and pass


If I don’t acknowledge them I’ll feel trapped within a spiral of uncertainty


But bringing them to the surface


Showing those I love


That will bring freedom and peace 


That will show acceptance and new ground to now stand on


I am strong within my tears


Within the anxiety that grips me in those “not a big deal” circumstances 


It’s a part of my story to tell now


These emotions that can haunt me


But as I tell them they are welcome and that I have nothing to hide


Well then that is when I feel ok to breathe 


There is nothing “wrong with me”


Though I tell myself that sometimes


I am not “difficult”


Though my inclination to be easy makes me fit the description 


I am walking with grief 


I am walking with a broken heart 


I am without my baby girl and my heart reminds me so… 


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